Conflict is inevitable when you’re dealing with people as part of a team. Part of that is by design – God didn’t use a gigantic cookie cutter to make us, we’re unique. That said, He does desire for us to be unified, and not at each other’s throats. So how to handle this quandary in a church staff environment?
The key comes down to the difference between constructive conflict and destructive conflict. I have seen/experienced cultures where there was rarely any conflict. “Smooth sailing” is their motto. The problem? The teams are usually static and static often turns into stagnant. When there’s no friction, there’s never a reason to change…or try anything new.
I’ve also seen the opposite. Chaos for chaos sake…or more likely for the egos of those involved. Little gets done because everyone wants their own way, with all of the accompanying posturing and back-biting.
So what to do? Here’s the best credo I’ve heard. “Argue hard, and then commit.” If you’re a member of a creative or planning team, hopefully you’re there for a reason (not just as a rubber stamp). If you’re the team leader, hopefully you’ve chosen your team members because you realize that you don’t have all the answers and there is wisdom in gatheringing ideas, opinions, and options. So let those ideas, opinions, etc… fly unhindered. I don’t mean personal attacks, but I DO mean that every team member has both the right and the responsibility to give their REAL opinions without fear of reprisal. Let the ideas (and even critiques) flow.
Once that’s done, and ONLY then, the decision gets made about what to do. The team members ALL commit to getting behind the course of action chosen, even if it’s something they felt should have gone a different way. Realistically, this is just part of what it means to be a responsible grown up – it’s not that hard once you let a bit of air out of your ego.
We’ll talk about HOW the final decisions get made tomorrow….
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