The most damaging conversations on any team are the ones that never happened. It’s human nature to have “imaginary conversations” – you know, the ones where you say all of the things you didn’t think of before [or didn’t have the courage to say]. However, the kind of “mental chatter” that you allow to go on in your head each day makes much more of a difference in your life than you might think.
Conflict is inevitable – and even desirable , in some cases. You’re going to have differences of opinion with people as each person sees different sides of an issue and brings their unique expertise and skill set to the table. We have meetings and discussions, brainstorm together and start determining and working towards our goals.
Here’s where it goes south – we then have conversations in our mind, and we don’t just imagine what’s said, we imagine the motives behind what is said. Worse yet, we then start treating the other person/people that were in our imaginary conversation as if it ACTUALLY
HAPPENED, and we end up being very angry at those who did absolutely nothing to us in real life.
Don’t read more into situations than what is actually there…